Wednesday, December 20, 2006
it’s possible that this will only be funny if you went to oberlin, but i really think albino squirrels are universally amusing. i, along with the rest of the alumni, received the following “important message from oberlin college” this morning. kudos to the kids (connies?) who masterminded this scheme. it’s enough to make me want to cut a check to the OC.
Dear Alumni:
Curiosity. Critical reasoning. Creativity. They, like ‘cookie,’ start with ‘C’ but that is not important right now. These three terms are but a few of the hallmarks of an Oberlin education. Today we proudly continue these traditions with a new institution, a center that explores some of the ins and outs of our campus and community through an unconventional lens: the Oberlin College Center for Albino Squirrel Research. Please visit us at www.oberlin.edu/squirrel/ at your convenience.
We realize many of you are itching to lend a hand but lack the background in genetics, pigment analysis or small mammal tracking to aid directly in our research. It is therefore fortuitous that the OCCASR is sponsored by the offices of Alumni Affairs and Development, both of which are working to better connect our alumni with the many goings on at Oberlin. Consider some of these alternate ways to stay involved with Oberlin and help the Center in its mission:
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Admissions recruiters interview prospective students and represent Oberlin at college fairs in their area, bringing the joy of squirrel sightings to a new generation of Obies annually. To join, just email arn@oberlin.edu
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Students are continually on the lookout for internships, summer jobs, temporary housing, help with interviews, and career advice and mentoring. If you can offer any of these things, Career Services would love to hear from you at career.services@oberlin.edu
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Support for Oberlin’s many activities, including the Center and its love for small, furry critters, comes in part from alumni. Consider making a gift - even a small one - via our primary sponsor, The Oberlin Fund. Visit oberlin.edu/squirrel/donate/ for more information.
Whatever your current connection with Oberlin, we hope you will take advantage of the Center and our related organizations. Please explore our site, view the photo gallery, ask questions, and feel free to get in touch. We will be in touch again after the New Year with updates on our research.
With warm, furry wishes,
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December 20th, 2006 at 4:31 pm
What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you a degree from Oberlin, and may God have mercy on your soul.
December 20th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
What do you call the opposite of an albino squirrel? I used to see some of them up in Evanston on or near the Northwestern Campus. I’m not sure what to call them that wouldn’t sound racist, but they are, in fact, black furred squirrels. See http://chicagowildernessmag.org/issues/summer2005/squirrels.html.
December 21st, 2006 at 2:26 am
When squirrels attack!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4489792.stm
PS There is a good “opposite squirrel” picture in there for ea.
December 21st, 2006 at 2:21 pm
yeah, those NU squirrels are awesome. i remember hand-feeding snack size ‘100 grand’ candy bars to a lucky few of them. the more bold of the squirrel bunch would rip through dorm room window screens, and tear apart rooms while kids were gone on break.
December 21st, 2006 at 3:44 pm
apparently UC berkeley has one of the campus squirrel population ratings, and therefore best educations, in the country.
http://www.gottshall.com/squirrels/campsq.htm
i’m surprised i didn’t read that in any of the application materials.