casual ultimate » 2008 » January

got back from lasik a bit ago so pardon the spelling.. but im typing this without glasses! and i can kinda see! although im wearing these jacked up huge stevie wonder sunglasses they gave me to put on.

dudes lasik is so werid! it was over fast but i swear i nearly ripped the stuffed animal they gave me in half. its the longet 20 seconds ever. its like your staring at this light, they everything is pressurey and you cant see anything but grey. then they go back and your supposed to stare at this orange blinking light while the laser clicks next to you. the problem is i couldnt tell where the damn light was hlaf the time. i thought it was moving or something and i tried to focus but i guess my eye was moving. but we got through it eventually. honetly youre only in the laser room for like 10 minutes.

but then my eyes slammed shut and i couldnt open them for anything the whole car ride home. they were so achy and itchy and i was just miserable driving from arlington heights but we made it home and then itook a super short nap wearing some other goggles and now i can kind of see but things are still fuzzy. i think im gonna take some more tylenol and go back to sleep for a bit.

the wonder of lasers! the magic of science! the fantastic winder of giantg whirring machines!

thanks for all the well wishes. see you guys (for real) very soon…

so after getting my stem and riser bars stolen off my bike two weeks ago i have not ridden my bike to work again. its starting to get frickin rediculous so i thought id buy another bike for commuting. something less flashy and track bike-y for bad weather. well my new baby is on its way. its an empella bonfire cross bike i found on ebay. pretty but still pretty rough and tumble. ill get some locking screws and cross my fingers that it will be safe outside my work.

on another note im getting lasik on thursday morning. the magic of science is going to make me able to see in less than a week. this is profoundly scary for some reason.. mostly because ive never had surgery of any kind but also because everyone knows that when you want creepy medical stuff to go away you close your eyes (and possibly cry or whimper) but for lasik you have to be wide eyed and awake. i hope they have lots of valium on hand.

friday i had my preliminary appointment and they super dialated my eyes to the point where i went back to work and couldn’t read at all. also my eye doctor berated me for wearing someone else’s glasses. my prescription was so old and it was only for two weeks so i didnt want to buy new ones.. and my friend ben had some old glasses that were close to my prescription. they work fine. but the doc thought i was a total nut. her actual words were ‘wow i’ve never seen something like that from an educated person.’ wait wait.. i’m educated? werd.

also friday night we had a little going away fete for simon and amy (of chicks and drinks fame) at delilahs. this was one of the better parties ive been to lately. great crowd. great beer for cheap. well miss chivolvos premiere couple.

im hoping well get an update from lei out when everyone gets back. yall are lucky youre in la. its a degree outside her. a. degree. burrrr….

So tonight I decided to combine two tasks into one. Firstly, I needed to return a few things to the mailbox of my ex-girlfriend (names withheld to protect the innocent). Secondly, I needed some exercise; which I thought could be usefully rolled in with the first task by running the stuff over to her house. Also, it was cold out, so instead of warming up I just ran extra fast. Also, the lights on Charleston were out, which I thought made it kind of nice and contemplative.

Which is how I found myself running a bit faster than usual down a dark street wearing my usual running clothes—black pants, black hoodie, black skullcap and black gloves—carrying a white plastic bag with assorted media in it. I was about three blocks into this activity when I realized that a police car was driving along in the same direction as I was running, at the same speed—I assumed it was just cruising along checking parking stickers and I sped up because it was annoying to have it there the whole block. As soon as I did, it pulled over quickly, and two cops (let’s call them “officer cheney” and “officer obama”) jumped out and told me to stop what I was doing.

I got frisked, put up on the side of the car, my bag (containing a dvd of Eddie Izzard comedy and a “Children of Men” paperback) was confiscated, and I spent the next twenty minutes in the back of the car attempting to explain what I was doing. Officer Obama was pretty cool, but Cheney was kind of a dick. He spent most of the time repeating whatever I said to them back at me with a whole lot of sarcasm. “Oh you’re just ‘running some stuff over to your ex-girlfriends house’? ‘You don’t carry your wallet when you run, huh? You, uh, ‘live three blocks from here’ is that right?” Anyway it was kind of comical except that this guy had no levity whatsoever. Though he did tell me that if I was concerned at how the Chicago PD spent their time I was more than welcome to bring it up with my alderman.

Anyway, though Officer Cheney’s first idea was that we should drive over to the ex gf’s house and have her verify my story (this would have been both genuinely awful and genuinely comedic) kindly Officer Obama shot me a look and then asked if I had a roommate or anything at home who could verify my story. Which is how my roomie ended up getting woken up at 10:30 at night by grumpy Mr. Officer Cheney who demanded verification for my story, which apparently she provided (thanks for not leaving me hanging, miss casual).

Meanwhile, Officer Obama explained to me, while eating an apple (so healthy!) that there had been a lot of car break-ins in the neighborhood recently and there was a task force out all night looking for the burglers and that I shouldn’t really worry about it.

Anyway, I was released into miss casual’s custody shortly thereafter. Despite the fact that the universe was clearly telling me not to get exercise, I changed into a bright red hoodie and went back out for my run. Felt much better after I got back.

so i rode my bike to work today for the first time in like two weeks. it was nice although i thought i might pass out at any moment. i seriously thought i had the flu but i went to the doctor on monday and she gave me an antibiotic so i guess its not the flu?? (this is my marginal understanding of the magic of medicine. if you are a doctor and you want to correct me please do. i dont understand the wonder of the human body because inside me is just a ball of white light. not gross guts and stuff like you see on csi).

i am no good at being sick. as much as i like couch and tv it is only in their capacity as downtime that they truly shine. when they offset the flury of activity that is going to work and the gym and the grocery store they are like a bright brilliant light from heaven. when you havent left the house in 4 straight days because you get winded walking from your room to the laundry it starts to feel like house arrest.

the bright spot in the haze of my illness was definitely watching the premiere of the new american gladiators with the viking and tbrizzle on sunday night. there was a bit too much talking to the contestants for our liking and helga didnt end up being as fast or as mighty as we hoped, (that lady is bigger than chucktown for realz) but wolf and hulk hogan were great. as was seeing akira’s body double win and witnessing the total body shutdown of some of the contestants on the eliminator thing. we kind of hope that wolf and hulk hogan start their own reality tv show where theyre roommates and hulk overloads the laundry with too much bubbles (uh oh!) and wolf’s incessant howling leads to a house meeting.

its good to be back.

so we’re going to try something here at cu: a little column called “ask the viking”. i’m sure you all can figure out how this works- readers submit their questions, i do my best to answer some of them. we’ll see how this works out. anyway, here’s our first installment:

mr. viking,

now that its winter i spend 1% of my time at the gym and 99% of my time sleeping or watching tv. what should i do with my 1% of time at the gym? cardio or weights? or both? in what order and in what quantities?

signed,
weary of winter

ms. weary,

vikings are known for our strength; at our peak, entire villages would flee their homes at the mere rumor that the vikings were coming. in those days, men grew strong by fighting with swords and shields, and rowing our Longship warboats to new territory to raid and pillage. unfortunately, these days raiding and pillaging are no longer accepted forms of recreation, so we’ll have to make do with other activities. i would recommend a blend of weight training and cardio; weight training will give you strength to strike a man down in battle, and cardio will give you stamina to outlast your enemy in a shield wall. or, perhaps more applicable to modern times, weight training will improve lean muscle mass, which in turn, keeps the body’s metabolism running high, which translates to improved calorie-burning (read: fat loss) long after the workout is over. i would achieve this blend of strength and cardio training by focusing your workout on exercises that recruit as many large muscle groups as possible, and minimizing the rest taken between sets. an example workout of this type would be:

1) 3 sets of 8 squats, rest 60 seconds between sets.
2) superset: pull-ups, rest 30 seconds, push-ups, rest 30 seconds.
repeat twice more, for a total of 3 sets of each exercise.
3) superset: 10 cable woodchoppers (video link), rest 30 seconds, 10 crunches on swiss ball, rest 30 seconds. repeat twice more.
4) on a rowing machine, do 4 minutes of: 20 seconds all-out, 10 seconds rest

that little program hits pretty much all of the muscle groups in your body, and will probably get you in and out of the gym in about an hour. do this 3 times a week, and soon enough, your raids will yield more treasure.

skål,
the viking

mr. viking,

so i really like this girl. i’ve been flirting with her, on and off, for about four years now. i’m pretty sure that she’s into it because she keeps ending stories by saying “you know, back when i still had a boyfriend” or telling me things like “i wore these hotpants just for you” and sometimes things like “my roommates not home tonight and i just got a brazilian wax”…but how do i know for sure that she likes me before i, you know, ask her to get a coffee or something?

for now i’m just going to keep playing it cool and only speak when spoken to. i mean, i just don’t want to be in a situation where i put myself out there emotionally to a stranger and don’t get any reciprocation, because that would be embarrassing. man i wish girls were more forward.

signed,
imaginary bear

mr. bear,

you’re a big fucking bear, with big fucking claws. and you can’t figure out how to kill the bunny? c’mon, you’re so money, and you don’t even know it. just club the bunny with your big fucking bear paws, and drag her back to your cave. advice from my favorite self-help movie aside, this viking learned from his elders of the old norwegian secret for getting girls — sit at the bar until one of them approaches you and forces interaction. vikings prefer strong women, and this is an important part of the selection process.

skål,
the viking

I exhaustedly returned to the dirty south after some holiday qt with friends and fam in the city and ‘burbs. Christmas was typical, with gary’s team winning the family ultimate game like every year (no matter how we change the teams around).
Emilee got back at him by being crowned the victor of Mexican train, a game that’s an enjoyable take on dominos and only takes 4 hours to play. Good thing nobody in my family is competitive at all! Christmas is more fun when there are children to spoil. If lily’s list next year included a life-sized Thomas the tank engine, she might actually get it.
Six days is a long time to be at home & away from home at the same time. After gorging ourselves, family-style, at maggiano’s, the fam caught “between barack and a hard place” at 2nd city on Saturday. Sometimes it’s weird to be sitting next to your dad laughing when the guy on state is pantomiming a motor boat. But this time it wasn’t.
The highlight of my trip was time spent and meal prepared by and shared with nate, schmal, baby max and the lovely ladies of casual ultimate. The recovering bartender mixed some magnificent martini’s and the gang caught up on recent goings and doings. Food coma from the lamb and delicious brussel sprouts meant an early end to this evening, but we managed some debauchery first, despite the lowered volume necessitated by maxine’s slumber. Throwing snaps @ pedestrians on Dearborn from the 7th floor never gets old. Nate just might have the best ass in the casual ultimate family.
2008 in Raleigh, nc arrived an hour earlier than in Chicago, weird. The redhead and I partied with some friends on nye and frolfed yesterday in the balmy, 55 degree sunny weather. Supposedly it’s good luck to eat black eyed peas on New Year’s day. We ate some alongside our perfectly grilled ribeyes, smashed potatoes and sipped on some delicious Spanish vino. Happy new year to all!