casual ultimate » I spent half an hour in the back of a po-lice car last night.

So tonight I decided to combine two tasks into one. Firstly, I needed to return a few things to the mailbox of my ex-girlfriend (names withheld to protect the innocent). Secondly, I needed some exercise; which I thought could be usefully rolled in with the first task by running the stuff over to her house. Also, it was cold out, so instead of warming up I just ran extra fast. Also, the lights on Charleston were out, which I thought made it kind of nice and contemplative.

Which is how I found myself running a bit faster than usual down a dark street wearing my usual running clothes—black pants, black hoodie, black skullcap and black gloves—carrying a white plastic bag with assorted media in it. I was about three blocks into this activity when I realized that a police car was driving along in the same direction as I was running, at the same speed—I assumed it was just cruising along checking parking stickers and I sped up because it was annoying to have it there the whole block. As soon as I did, it pulled over quickly, and two cops (let’s call them “officer cheney” and “officer obama”) jumped out and told me to stop what I was doing.

I got frisked, put up on the side of the car, my bag (containing a dvd of Eddie Izzard comedy and a “Children of Men” paperback) was confiscated, and I spent the next twenty minutes in the back of the car attempting to explain what I was doing. Officer Obama was pretty cool, but Cheney was kind of a dick. He spent most of the time repeating whatever I said to them back at me with a whole lot of sarcasm. “Oh you’re just ‘running some stuff over to your ex-girlfriends house’? ‘You don’t carry your wallet when you run, huh? You, uh, ‘live three blocks from here’ is that right?” Anyway it was kind of comical except that this guy had no levity whatsoever. Though he did tell me that if I was concerned at how the Chicago PD spent their time I was more than welcome to bring it up with my alderman.

Anyway, though Officer Cheney’s first idea was that we should drive over to the ex gf’s house and have her verify my story (this would have been both genuinely awful and genuinely comedic) kindly Officer Obama shot me a look and then asked if I had a roommate or anything at home who could verify my story. Which is how my roomie ended up getting woken up at 10:30 at night by grumpy Mr. Officer Cheney who demanded verification for my story, which apparently she provided (thanks for not leaving me hanging, miss casual).

Meanwhile, Officer Obama explained to me, while eating an apple (so healthy!) that there had been a lot of car break-ins in the neighborhood recently and there was a task force out all night looking for the burglers and that I shouldn’t really worry about it.

Anyway, I was released into miss casual’s custody shortly thereafter. Despite the fact that the universe was clearly telling me not to get exercise, I changed into a bright red hoodie and went back out for my run. Felt much better after I got back.