Thursday, February 7, 2008
Chucktown: Population Fat
Some people do “strength training” to “build up a base” for “the next season” of “extreme Ultimate flippy-disc”. I, on the other hand, have been keeping busy….I joined a new gym….that’s just one thing.
I had a physical assessment when I joined the gym, and the lady took me around the gym to see what I could do. Number of times I’ve been on the bench since college: 20 times in 4 years or so. We put on plates and gave it a go. 10, no problem except that it wasn’t that easy. We added some 35’s. One….two…thrrr….yup. Two. We took off the 35’s and added 10’s and 5’s or something like that. One…two…three..four…fffff…yup. Four. Nice job, big guy.
So with my “One Degrees 2008: Year of the Sideboob” body condition, I think it’s safe to say that I can bench about 1/2 of my body weight or another way to think about it, which I think is the metric system (not sure what the metric system actually is): I can bench at least the amount of food that I eat in a week if you could somehow turn it into a bar that I could lift while lying on my back.
Another thought about this exercise: you really should be sitting up if you want to digest your lunch properly, so I would say don’t eat RIGHT BEFORE YOU WORKOUT. That’s a late breaking fitness story from the West Coast. You heard it here first on casualobesity.fat.
Next, they did a body-fat test to see what percentage of my body is actually undigested milkshakes. It’s 27% with an 8% margin of error. My confidence level is high that I am above the “suggested level for a guy your age” of “ideally 10% but no more than 15%”. C’mon. Really? What year is it? 2000 BC? Am I (a) hunting for my food every day or (b) talking to some former D1 soccer player who did both her knees and is now a trainer in the Financial District of a major city in the fattest nation in the world? Darken in the oval by the letter B on your scorecard completely.
I found somebody with 10% body fat in my journeys, and I found another person with a body-type similar to mine as well. They are both small and fit on your lap. Here they are side-by-side.
Kindest Regards,
Chucktown: Population Fat
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February 8th, 2008 at 12:34 am
no shame in starting small. i benched the bar two weeks ago and felt like the strongest girl in the world. you would go to the gym more often though if you had characters like Captain America, a man in oh I’d say his fifties or sixties who wears nothing but some sort of soft leather weight lifting shoes and a 100% shiny lycra bodysuit that extends from mid-thigh to sternum, where it quickly veers into two shoulder straps that leave his surprisingly well-shaped old man chest, back, etc. exposed to the gym. actually i’m surprised you don’t have someone like him in san francisco. did i mention that sometimes he can be seen punching metal or doing upside-down pullups? he’s an inspiration to the youth.
February 8th, 2008 at 9:46 am
hooray for winter weight gain! its tough to type because the sprinkles from my donut keep falling into the keyboard…
also
February 8th, 2008 at 11:04 am
Sadies 97 - “Make Her Pay”
February 8th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
True.
February 10th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
he’s moving into the realm of legitimate sports. risky move.