casual ultimate » mission: impossible

ms. ultimate wasn’t optimistic it could be done.. but i didnt take ‘wasnt optimistic it could be done’ for an answer! thats right i went to the non-rat infested whole foods, the one in the gold coast to be exact, and bought 5 items for under 12$! five items! half the time i go to whole foods and get 5 things and it costs me $72.50. How did you do it miss casual? well ill tell you..

the key is no booze, no magazines and no flowers. now the boys dont get lured in by flowers but i do. however the ranunculus i love are going to droop in two days and my debt will last a lifetime. and i know the alcohol at whole foods looks so shiny and nice. it has fancy labels designed by hippies in the northwest who dropped out of college and it might be organic / local / small batch / ‘fill in the blank other expensive adjective’. and the magazines! they have cool do it yourself projects that might get you onto apartment therapy (ahem.. tbrizzle..) and hip interracial couples with expensive furniture and asymmetrical haircuts! maybe you could be like them if you just buy this magazine that costs 8.95… but hold strong! you too can conquer this mecca of bourgeois consumerism!

just buy their generic house brand everything, avoid the organic produce, dont get the readymade meals they have (although their samosas are great..) and you too can get out for under 15$.

whole foods. beautiful but deadly.