casual ultimate » excrement

6:15 am: slider wakes me up for the second day in a row by repeatedly scratching/headbutting my bedroom door. though drowsy i barrel out of bed, visions of yesterdays rectal explosions fresh in my head, eager to avoid another such incident perpetrated indoors.

the dog seems in fine spirits today, leading me cheerily through the house with a spring in his step and a wag in his tail that i consider cheeky for early morning use. It occurs to me that he may just be waking me up to lead me to the treats bowl; having learned the day before that i will rush to his smallest need when his bowels are threatening. the possibility of this makes me feel like a patsy. am somewhat relieved when he goes past the food bowl to the back door, where i release him to the outdoors.

i follow along to see what i’ve been woken up for. i will keep things mature here and only say that his output in the slush and mud of my backyard as seen during a pre-dawn chicago sleet was admirable, and thoroughly justified my awakening. as he was outside for quite some time executing various maneuvers i went back inside and put on a pot of tea. i decided to make some hay out of this situation and unload the dishwasher, after several precautionary hand washings.

slider evenutally is able to return to the indoors, demand another bowl of water and settle back down to bed. i notice that he is able to fall asleep immediately. fantastic for him.

i return to my bed with a full mug of chamomile tea and my big picture book of fish, thinking that i’m going to need some transitional time to get back to sleep. in my drowsiness i misapprehend the true location of the chair next to my bed thus spilling the very recently full mug of tea all over the fish book and the bedclothes. lacking the energy to care, i wipe off the book and move my better pillows to the far side of the bed. the noise has upset the dog and woken him up and he is once more in my room and wants a treat for his trouble. defeated, i oblige.

moments later i hear him rustle himself back into his premium polarfleece bed upstairs. it is 6:45 am and i am wide awake.