casual ultimate » first world problems

I posted this on my personal blog and got such a huge response from frisbee players, I figured I’d better put it up on Casual Ultimate with a much better picture courtesy of Whit. Enjoy:

I went to a Frisbee tournament called Potlatch in Redmond, WA this weekend. I camped at the tournament site, I drank Friday and Saturday night with a bunch of Frisbee players (not to the point of being drunk either time), and I felt an incredible loneliness. It is not a new feeling.

Do you ever feel alone in a crowd?

I felt exactly like that many times before, particularly growing up, but the one time that I remember vividly and which I think was even worse was at another tournament in Ohio called Poultry Days in ’07. I was on a great team with a lot of people that I really like, and I had a pretty bad time there. I flew a red eye in Thursday night, drank beers most of the day Friday, and then was exhausted all weekend, again camping at the site. When I’m exhausted several things happen. I play a little worse; I still say some really funny and exceedingly deadpan things; I am there in body doing things with people I like; and I feel half-dead. I am a little like a zombie walking around in slow-motion and feeling nothing. I can hear you and respond to you. I can laugh and interact even. I am not fully alive though. It’s like in Fight Club when he says everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. Yeah, Potlatch this year was a little bit of a copy of a copy of Potlatch.

I relearned the lesson that I need to have really good self-care to enjoy a tournament. I need to not try to be someone else. I need to acknowledge my needs and get them met. If I’m tired, I need to rest and not pretend like I don’t need rest. If I’m hungry, I need to eat and not pretend I’m not hungry. If I’m lonely, I need to find connection with someone in person or on the phone. If I need time alone, I need to make time for myself to recharge and not just proceed from one event to the next as my friends tell me what we are doing and I continue to run on fumes.

I regret not showing up fully for my team. I don’t regret it for them because I think they were all very happy to have me around as I was. I regret it for myself. I wish I could do it again, get more rest, be fully present for all the wonderful, beautiful, magical, hysterical things that were happening around me. I might have really enjoyed them, and I might not have had a knot in my stomach all weekend knowing that I was just in crisis-management mode. I was supposed to be there having fun, but I was acting as if I were in a war-zone trying to escape with my life.

Do you find that sometimes the best way get your needs met is not to have any?

Contrast that with playing Huck it Long Beach, another tournament down in SoCal, last weekend in which I had my own place to stay and got ample rest and alone time and didn’t drink a drop of alcohol. I played like a warrior poet on Sunday, celebrated my team-mates, the game, the music, this life. I was there, living my life to its fullest. It was absolutely wonderful, and the quality of my opponents, the tournament, and my closeness to my team-mates were all much less. Regardless, I was the man and the player that I want to be at that tournament. I love that. I love it when I take good care of myself. It’s the only way I can have fun anymore.

I played Potlatch with a bunch of people that played on the two teams that ended my seasons in ’06 and ’07 on Brass Monkey, those teams being Shazam and Slow White. I had a story in my head that we were good enough to beat those teams or that we were better than those teams. Maybe we weren’t though. They beat us in semis, both of them. Teddy and Hammer I just thought were sort of fortunate players. They were good, but their big plays were just sort of fortunate outcomes for them. Maybe fortunate is the wrong word for what I thought of Hammer as an opponent (but I’ll keep it clean for the kids). I played with them both this weekend though, and they are really good. Really good. Schwind and Charlie from Shazam are both really good too. I had a story that they were a step below us. I don’t think that was actually the case. That was probably just me lashing out below the surface at two teams that hurt a team I love very much, Brass.

I’ve seen my mom do that many times before. When people have wronged my dad or my family, my mom is basically done with those people forever. They are awful people who are never to be trusted again. It’s a little black-and-white, but I get it in that case. If people really are mean and intentionally hurt you in some way, they probably had best not be trusted. Whether or not I harbor a resentment towards them is another issue.

In the case of Slow and Shazam (dumbest name ever), these are just fantastic people and players who happen to play on a different team from me, and in my head I occasionally allow them to be cast as enemies of me and the people I love. It doesn’t really hold up in this case. It’s just a slip into an old pattern of thinking. It was good to be reminded once again that my enemies on the field and even people who hold different views and philosophies than mine are not my enemies in life. They are people, and all people when I get down to it are good. All of them. Even me. Even Jam.

A few months ago, my mom and I talked about an issue that has been tough for me my whole life. Isn’t it arrogant to be a really out there, expressed, loud, flashy star with your talents? Do you need to be quiet to be humble? Is being quiet actually the opposite of what you’re supposed to do with your talents? Am I confusing being repressed with being humble?

When I was younger, and still today at times, I felt like being exceptional was arrogant (look at Jay-Z, using his God-given talent but also calling himself “hov” as in jehovah; what an idiot….and also I listen to everything he makes). I am learning, with my mom’s help, that being exceptional is not arrogant and that we all have talents that give us the potential to be exceptional. Here’s what my mom had to say on it, reproduced with her consent.

There are two different factors we face in relationship to others. One is humility and assuming we are all equal. That is a spiritual truth, and on that level we are all created equal. The second is being aware of the many different talents and gifts that we each bring to the game and there we are definitely NOT equal. These are the luck of the draw so to speak and we need not, or actually MUST not be ashamed or boastful about these things. We did nothing to “deserve” them. They are simply given to us by God. But it is our responsibility to use our gifts to the best of our ability and that is not a small thing. It takes awhile to realize all that we have to offer and who we really are. I think lots of people never look at that in depth and just struggle or stumble through life aimlessly and with little or no sense of what they’re all about. When we are especially blessed there is even more need for us to use what we’ve been given. You are a man with many gifts and the burden on you is great to do good things and you are well on your way as is obvious to many. You are much loved and admired and your mark on your world will only get greater, especially as you continue to realize who you are and what you have to give. This is not a negative thing at all because God wants us to be happy and gives us what we need to do His work. So long as you live with that as your goal, to do what you were intended to do, your life will be worthwhile. Your awareness of your Higher Power in your life says you are living that way already. Emmett Fox wrote: “I am part of the self-expression of God; I am the Presence of God at the point where I am”. [one of] my favorite affirmations. Enjoy being you: God is loving it!

Sorry, this didn’t get posted last week when I wrote it, so it’s a little out of order. Still worth a read. -Chuckles

I thought a post would be a good thing, so here goes. It’s a beautiful day in San Francisco. It’s been a little chilly and windy but sunny these past few days, and I just love it. Great weather to be out exercising. You barely sweat and the air feels great. There’s not too much to report.

This weekend is Fools Fest, and I’ll be playing with the Bruisers for our second campaign. Fools West seems to break along demographics for some reason. The teams that come to mind are Matza Balls (Jews), Downtown Brown (not white), and a couple of years ago it was Catholic School Girls and Public School Girls or something like that on the women’s side. In any event, McManus felt that our demographic (bruisers) was not being represented, and so the team was born last year. We talk a lot about our BMI’s (mine is around 28), never contest fouls, and never call fouls, and we wear black and blue. We do allow some purple and yellow as well, obviously. Oh, I left out another important demographic: Condors. While every other club team branches out and plays with new people and creates something interesting, the Condors simply show up and talk to just themselves. Nice job, guys.

What else is going on? Not a whole lot I guess. I am working 3 days a week, giving my time and energy to causes that seem worthwhile, and I’m really enjoying it. I haven’t been playing much music, but I do have a show this Friday with Erin Brazill who I played my sister’s wedding with. It should be good fun. She’s a fantastic performer and person. We’ll be at Dolores Park Cafe (18th St and Dolores) at 7:30 PM sharp if you’re in SF (nevermind, this already happened, and we’ll be back at DPC on June 5th).

In other news, Revolver is getting underway. We were supposed to have our first closed tryout/practice a couple of weekends ago, but it got rained out (thank you, rain). It looks to be a pretty exciting year for Revolver. Lots of good folks on board, great captains and debuting a coach. Our coach is actually just a cardboard cutout of Shooter McGavin saying “Choke on that one, baby!” Has it been too long to quote Happy Gilmore anymore?

I’ve been coming to grips with getting older lately, and it has not so much to do with the body slowing down as it has with the pop culture references sliding away. The kids today wonder why I talk about “laying by the bay and making things out of clay” and what a “32-belly option” is. Luckily there is an Arrested Development movie supposedly coming out which will put me back on top. Long live Arrested.

On a spiritual tip, I’m working towards acceptance of my defects of character. One of these defects is my propensity to numb out, not necessarily with the aid of any outside body (like drink or smoke or food or video game or music). It’s just a defense mechanism that kicks in sometimes without my choosing and occasionally one that I go to by choice. I can simply stop feeling anything. I can unplug and in doing so, I avoid being vulnerable. It looks like “I don’t care” about whatever is going on around me, but I do care. I just have chosen to bury it, and I feel dead inside as a result when I do that. In my experience, I can turn off one uncomfortable feeling, but in so doing, I turn off all the other feelings as well. In other words, if I ignore my sadness, I lose my happiness as well.

Why do I do it? You can’t lose what you don’t put in the middle of the table. That goes for pride and my heart as well as poker chips. So the task is then to decide whether I want to continue to protect myself from heartache, loss, and ego hits and keep my world small - or - be vulnerable, be huge, put my heart into the things that I am doing and the relationships that I am pursuing - into my work, my romantic interests, my music, my family - and risk massive emotional pain, hurt, and sadness in the name of becoming who I really am. Self-actualization Maslow calls it, I think. I get to become fully expressed. I get to go anywhere and do anything and be myself while I’m doing it. It sounds pretty good. The pros outweigh the cons. Green light.

I am at work at midnight. It’s awesome. I think a lot of my creativity gets stifled by the daytime and the expectations that I put on myself and that society seems to have for people between the hours of 9 and 5.

I played Fools West this past weekend, and I got the distinct pleasure of being beat by Hensley and Vijay. God, those guys can ball. I remember when Vijay was just sort of popping onto the scene in Chicago as Bill Finn’s right-hand man at CUSL. He was obnoxiously good and just had nonstop energy. For a guy like me who has an inertia that I like to exert on the entire field while I’m out there, it was very impressive to see a guy moving at a completely different speed, with a tireless spirit, and really sharp facial features. Does Vijay look like he was drawn by an artist or something? It doesn’t make sense that his face would belong to a real human.

Anyway.

Downtown Brown played so great in Semis and Finals. They made play after play and deserved to win and assuredly did. I played on the Bruisers which is a bunch of big guys who know how to use their size or just tackle people. The team is founded on a few principles: 1) no fouls called, 2) no fouls contested, 3) no strategy. Unfortunately Seth was on our team, so 1) suffered at times, but on the whole, the philosophy prevailed. It was a pretty great group of guys, and I looked off Beau while he in turn hucked a goal to me. In other words 3) was in full force.

The 2009 Season: Hmmmmmm. Revolver looks awesome this year. The table is set as far as I’m concerned; we’ve got everybody back except for handler (who was really dead weight), and we’ve got the perfect combo of captains and coach. I feel great. I feel so ready to have a great year. However, my knee keeps steadily reminding me that I’m playing on borrowed time. I saw my grandma at my sister’s wedding last fall, and unlike most everyone else, she is at an age where she doesn’t pull punches. She said, “You’re gonna stop playing.” She may well be right. I have cartilage damage in my right knee, and it doesn’t feel good on Monday and Tuesday after I play on it. I don’t want to bury my head and pretend it’s not happening. That’s not good enough anymore. I want to live in reality. Some reality is that I have played for 8 years now out of shape. I’m still a little out of shape. I’m getting closer to a good playing shape, but to be honest, I’m not there. I’ve been the heaviest guy on every single team I’ve been on, I think (except One Degrees of course). I’ve always been able to play well despite my size, but that’s not good enough anymore either.

You may well see me play the season this year and live in denial. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d done that. It wouldn’t be the first time an Ultimate player pretended that feeling like a late-career NFL quarterback on Monday morning is ok. Dudes icing their knees, taking ibuprofen like it’s a vitamin, drinking before/during/after, holding their bodies together with braces and tape so that they can chase the disc for another year, another day, another point.

I’ve got a buddy at work who teases me because I say I’m playing the best Ultimate of my life and that I’m in the prime of my career, and here I am icing my knee at work and taking Ibu. “I’m in my prime,” he says with a big shit-eating grin on his face, mimicking an old man who can barely get up to go to bed after he finishes his crossword puzzles. Foreshadowing?

Gratitude is not just a concept; it’s a tool. It can change my attitude towards the world and my life. I’ve got some friends that swear by gratitude as a tool – particularly gratitude lists. What is that? Well, it’s a list of things you’re grateful for and why. A list of 5 things I’m grateful for are:

1) Jessica, my sister, because she is very generous and loves me more than anyone in the world. I love her.
2) High-release flicks because they fly so pretty, make me feel so good, and the disc wants it sometimes.
3) CarBomb (the beach ulty team) because they remind me of the idea that unapologetically having as much fun as possible is an option.
4) Sunshine because something about feeling it on my skin makes me feel calm.
5) Kix/Maddy because they are adorable and warm.
6) Humor because I’m flicking you off in this picture.

I woke up this morning with lots of worrying on my mind - about my career/school, about dating, about money. I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I made an alphabetical gratitude list which is a gratitude list with something beginning with each letter of the alphabet in it. I felt better. It relieved me of the “bondage of self.” Sometimes my world can get so small and focused on just me and my wants. The world is bigger. Gratitude is bigger. I can’t stay small when I have gratitude. It’s like the Kool-Aid man breaking through the wall. OOOHHH YEAAAH!

I was chatting with a couple folks the other day about gratitude lists, and they offered their 5 things they’re grateful for:

Frosty’s 5:

1) My left brake light has been busted for
2 weeks and I haven’t been pulled over yet.
2) I get to play winter league tonight under the lights
3) I’m surrounded by hot LA girls pretty much wherever I go
4) I’m going to tahoe next week with new discounted pata snowboard gear
5) I have the dopest friends I could have ever hoped for

Kirch’s 5:

1) My parents, for encouraging me to go to college wherever I want and study whatever I like, regardless of practical implications.
2) My sister, for her unwavering support.
3) My friends, who’ve seen me at my worst, but still stand by me.
4) My company, for taking a chance on me as a post-grad with no practical skills but a desire to succeed.
5) All the truly talented musicians who have taken the time to play with me as I learn.

Now I’m going to go play some beach ultimate in sunny, 60-degree weather. Life is good.

It’s New Year’s Eve, 2008. I just watched the men’s final from 2007 between Bravo and Sockeye. It was good. Made me want to keep playing Ultimate. Nice final for Hector. It was fun watching Seth on another team too. I *think* Seth fouled Chicken on the mark on game point which caused him to throw a lazy high release backhand which didn’t get to the receiver and led to a quick transition goal for the win. Maybe I’m just projecting what I know about Seth onto that point though

Revolver had our end of year party a couple of weeks ago, and it was sooooo Revolver. It was somewhere between a Coed and an Ivy league College party. Lots of board games, poker, and awkward interactions. (Someone on Jam is reading this and smiling.) It’s funny to compare that to my experience with Monkey over the past few years. I always felt like such a TOTAL fit with Monkey as far as personality, and I think a pretty good fit on the field as well. Now that I think of it, Monkey was better in both regards than Revolver for me. I think the mix of dirty humor tempered by the feminine presence in coed was just right for me. I remember hearing a story that Pat H liked coed better than Open because of “the way he was” in the Coed division as opposed to “the way he was” in the open division. Makes sense to me. I need women to keep me in line sometimes, but I will say that having the presence of Stanford culture was similar with such wholesome, smiling folks as Handler, Wiseman, TJ, and Herbert. Actually, let’s leave Herbert off that list. He’s a little more Hole-some than he is wholesome.

Shout out to Jonny Rem who apparently had a really good final this year for Jam. I can’t wait to see footage because this guy is one of my favorite players on the planet. Mikey Z pointed him out to me when I first moved to town, and it’s been fun to watch a guy without a chip on his shoulder or a swollen ego just consistently win his match-ups. He’s really fun to watch downfield: unbelievable timing, sure hands, nice throws, and those pearly whites.

In other news, I went home for Xmas two weeks before Xmas actually happened because that’s how we do it in my family. It was a pretty good trip. Not an easy trip for me: not having my own room, having to face the past with the present, having to try to pry open a heart that was absolutely hammered shut for a few years there. It’s hard work but fruitful.

It’s interesting because at my sister’s wedding, it was a lot easier for me. The focus was squarely on her which somehow made it easier for me. Also, I love her to bits and was really honored to get to show up as big as I could for that event. I think the fact that it didn’t have the hype of the holidays and that the spotlight was away from me made it a lot more manageable. That being said, what a difference a year makes. I felt much more at ease this year than last, and Jess and I are back to wearing matching Sweatshirts again! Check out the evolution of Northwestern Ultimate Team sweatshirts over the past 3 seasons or so.

Now that I’m back in SF after being home, I’m kind of blue like Miles Davis. I get that sadness: that good, reflective, restorative, purifying sadness every year after I go home. That may be coloring it too positive because sometimes it’s downright torture. This year though, it feels ok. Some of my friends call it the emotional hangover of the holidays. Makes sense to me. So much hype both from our culture and from our families that when it’s over, there’s a natural recoil to get back to equilibrium.

I had a great conversation with Henrik yesterday about what friendship is. We recalled our lives’ lessons in that department. I got my introduction to what “friends” were from two places: Sarah and Machine. When I got cut from Machine, I found out quickly who my friends were on that team. There weren’t nearly as many as I thought. The ones that were my friends are still with me today, and I’m really glad to have them in my life. Bjorn and Mercedog come to mind. Love you guys. The Titcombs come to mind too. Here’s X on the way back from Solstice/Potlatch in ‘05.

Sweet, sweet, sweet. Sarah’s contribution was a little different. I took a look at Sarah’s friends, and I was amazed. She just straight up didn’t talk to people who tried to manipulate her or who weren’t nice to her. Even if it was just one time, she turned away from that person. She didn’t do it in a mean way; it was just a matter of fact - she didn’t hang out with people who weren’t nice. As a result, her friends were sweet and committed to her. They were also, every one of them, just great people. Holy cow; they were amazing! The first people I met when I moved out here were Arlie and Matty, Sarah’s good friends who put me up until I could find a place. Talk about two of the sweetest people out there; it’s an honor just to know them. Congrats to both of them on bringing their style and grace to U S Women’s Ultimate.

One last note, I mentioned to a couple captains on Revolver the idea of being a “team chaplain” or “spiritual/musical advisor” for the team next year. For some reason, that is really calling to me as something I want to do. My contribution just has to include that aspect in order for me to really be doing my higher power’s work. We’ll see what that looks like. More will be revealed.

Happy Healthy New Year’s to All y’all.

Chuck
“Best Hair” award winner on Revolver 2008

I think Saturday night at Natties has been one of my favorite nights each of the past two years. Both years, my team ended it’s quest for the title that day, and the team dinner, toasts, and partying ensued. It’s kind of sad that both years I got really drunk. I didn’t get as drunk last year as I did this year though. I don’t know if Ultimate is committed to the idea that drinking is good and that binge drinking is great. It seems like it at times though. In any event, I get caught up in the idea that one drink = fun and so two drinks = more fun and so on. I was having an awesome time with my team, even though we were the last game to finish on Saturday after being knocked out of quarters by like 10:30 (that sucked so much to play two more long tedious games and never get to hang out with anyone on Saturday).

Anyway, we went to dinner at this little family-owned italian restaurant named after a woman named _______ (I don’t remember her name, but James seemed to know her, and she gave a good hug.) During dinner there was a series of toasts that were funny and touching, and we were a table of 28 in the middle of a not particularly large restaurant, so Darryl (who is rich from investing one dollar on his 18th birthday) paid for all the other people’s dinners in the restaurant, and if that weren’t enough, I serenaded each table with the fiddle with any song that they wanted to hear. I laughed more at that dinner than I remember laughing before. It was so fun. It was sooo fun. Holy shit, things were funny at that dinner. I toasted Josh and Margo’s baby on the way (which does not exist), Martin told some fantastic stories from his college days, Sherwood’s parents were reeeeaaallly chill about the off-color jokes that were just flying from my mouth like so much vomit would later.

The point is that this was a night that was a ton of fun. I was where I wanted to be with the people I wanted to be there with, and I felt absolutely fantastic. There’s no feeling quite like completing your season with a team you love, where you play your best, and your team fights to the end. It feels soooo goood. So filling. Like a catharsis with a twist of straight up magnanimity. It’s a cathardinimity. So why did I feel the need to drink so much? I thought about that. I had a copy of “the big book” with me (Alcoholics Anonymous, the text, pictured above). I’m not in AA, but it’s the basis for all twelve-step recovery, and it’s an absolutely amazing book. So good. Seeing that book on my bedside table the morning after was pretty cool. A message from my higher power. Message received. One explanation is that I’m an alcoholic. Another explanation is that I get caught up in the moment sometimes. Another is that I seem to think that I need alcohol to have fun when I’m out and it’s beer-thirty.

It’s been cool this past month since nationals, during which I haven’t had anything to drink, to see that sobriety is really nice. It makes my body feel good. It makes my mind feel good. I have a lot of fun, and I really enjoy the people I’m with. It turns out that I love people and that when I am hanging out with people I like, I really don’t need a drink to have fun.

I think a big piece of the puzzle is: I get anxious when I am trying to meet other people’s expectations and ignore my own needs and drinking helps me to get over that. The solution is very simple. I take care of my own needs, always. Here are two tools that work:

1) when I take care of myself, everyone else gets taken care of automatically, everytime.
2) what other people think of me is none of my business.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

it is a gorgeous chicago fall day for the 2008 election and this blogger has tickets to obama’s election night rally in grant park! woot! we got lucky enough to get them before they disappeared so the casuals will be in grant park to witness history.. either our first black president gets elected or the loop erupts into an absurd riot. clearly we are hoping for the former. get out and vote today!

also in other non political news team pegasus, the cycling team that i joined but then shirked all summer while planning the wedding, is having a recruitment meeting at weegee’s a week from today at 8pm. so if you still read this blog and are interested in racing for an awesomely fun team come out and see what its all about.

in other pegasus news.. the team has put together a calendar of lady cyclists to raise money for the team and for world bicycle relief. you can pre-order yours here. there is even a NSFW version cause im not gonna lie.. some of my teammates are giving it all away. Im not of course but i am nevertheless in the calendar with my bike (Im july) and so is ms. ultimate’s new haven roommate (she’s october). anyways the team and world bicycle relief are both great causes so buy a nudie calendar for charity.

i will probably post about the wedding at length at some point (i can hear you holding your breath your so excited) and hopefully chuck or bjorn will give us a post about nationals? anyway is anyone out there?

happy election day!

edit:

heres a video of our own flying viking at nationals making a heroic catch.

well we’re less than two weeks away which i think means im supposed to give up sugar, alcohol, red meat and white flour and hope for best. i mean the dress fits fine and i think were mostly ready… but honestly ive spent a lot of time the last few weeks sitting on the couch watching the olympics and wondering which fake tanning option will make me looks the least round in the photos. heres a picture of me eating cake out of the pan in preparation for the main event.

i actually went to sephora to check out the mystic tan aerosol can thing they sell but quickly decided against it. i think you need to be a pro to apply that stuff. the last thing i need is to look like my skin is melting because of all the fakeness running off of me.

actually this weekend i spent drawing little maps of the cottage with where all the tables go and working out who sits where. sounds easy but.. it gets complicated quickly. especially with a different venue as the rain plan. i feel like all this planning has been going on for eternity. to be honest im almost as excited for it to all be over as i am for the party. its fun.. kind of. its also stressful… kind of. i know our engagement has been relatively short.. 6 months. i mean lots of people are engaged for a year or more and i have no idea how they do it. you must be on the verge of tears for the entire last month. i think the shorter the better. if i had it to do over we might go even shorter. with time against you the important things get taken care of the rest goes by the wayside. which is great. screw programs and bridesmaids with matching shoes. lifes too short and no one will remember them anyway.

ms. ultimate wasn’t optimistic it could be done.. but i didnt take ‘wasnt optimistic it could be done’ for an answer! thats right i went to the non-rat infested whole foods, the one in the gold coast to be exact, and bought 5 items for under 12$! five items! half the time i go to whole foods and get 5 things and it costs me $72.50. How did you do it miss casual? well ill tell you..

the key is no booze, no magazines and no flowers. now the boys dont get lured in by flowers but i do. however the ranunculus i love are going to droop in two days and my debt will last a lifetime. and i know the alcohol at whole foods looks so shiny and nice. it has fancy labels designed by hippies in the northwest who dropped out of college and it might be organic / local / small batch / ‘fill in the blank other expensive adjective’. and the magazines! they have cool do it yourself projects that might get you onto apartment therapy (ahem.. tbrizzle..) and hip interracial couples with expensive furniture and asymmetrical haircuts! maybe you could be like them if you just buy this magazine that costs 8.95… but hold strong! you too can conquer this mecca of bourgeois consumerism!

just buy their generic house brand everything, avoid the organic produce, dont get the readymade meals they have (although their samosas are great..) and you too can get out for under 15$.

whole foods. beautiful but deadly.

this post has been coming for a long time but now.. i cant stay silent any longer.. a bebe opened on damen. seriously. i mean i guess where else makes sense for that carnival of spandex and plastic rhinestones but across from cans? but still.. it is definitely the last nail in the bucktown coffin. marc jacobs? ok. bcbg? er.. club monaco? wait.. but bebe.. this is it people. the end is near. watching pre-teens with fake tans stroll out of intermix with a bag on their arm that costs more than my rent is just your average saturday afternoon at this point. i suppose the gentrification gods threw us a bone with the whole dairy queen / orange julius complex but just because you give me sprinkles doesnt mean someone shouldnt stage a protest outside of skankwear international. how do those women smoke? their clothes are mostly plastic and certainly flamable…

there goes then neighborhood. time to move to logan square.

in other news.. the new batman is quite good and much scarier than i thought. plus they flip a semi truck on south lasalle which is amazing to witness even on film. the olymipics are coming which is ore exciting than i expected. we are t - 7 weeks to the wedding and things are floating along. and last but certainly not least.. it sounds like everyones favorite team of speedo wearing gentlemen made it to the finals this weekend at sandblast so congrats to those dudes (if they still read this..) hey someone should post about sandblast. i want to hear all the play by plays.

alright.. gotta go. their unveiling a new gladiator.

this afternoon was kind of tedious at work so i thought id liven things up by downloading a song by omarion (”icebox”) and eating a fair trade chocolate bar from trader joe’s which tasted like magic. that certainly brightened my mood. and then i remembered today is the big primary showdown in texas and ohio and even teeny tiny rhode island. very exciting stuff. big things poppin in this country…

on a side note.. i just heard from a public relations officer from rhode island. she informed me that rhode island doesn’t like to be called ‘tiny’. it likes to be called ‘yes you are… look at you. you’re so cute…come here little guy… ‘

we finally made it to march thank jebus. february was one mean son of a gun. now that the spring light is at the end of the winter tunnel its time to start getting ready for frisbee and track season. just thinking about spring training is the most satisfying thing i’ve done all day. but seriously ms. ulty and i were thinking about some kind of ongoing posts that could chronicle our efforts to get in shape for the warm weather. i personally think this will be too embarrassing to post but i suppose the threat of humiliation is supposed to inspire us to work out more? anyone have some good jump start type workouts they’re doing that they want to post about?

if you want to get inspired (read: intimidated) check out our chicks and drinks friend michelle’s blog about training for a half ironman. it makes good reading. especially over a bag of ruffles.

well another winter weekend goes by mostly uneventfully but at least we topped 40 degrees today. i got to ride my new bike and chat with c(b)r about real estate and slider’s potential effectiveness as a guard dog. although i watched a good deal of television (hey the dunk competition was fun to watch this year!) at least a bit of it was inspirational.

i watched a sports special about the kona ironman triathalon… and if that doesn’t get me off the couch for at least a week i don’t know what will. seriously… 2.5 miles swim, 112 miles on the bike, and then a marathon (26 mi.) how do people survive this? a frickin 65 year old woman completed it! she was happy cheery the whole way. a blind grandfather completed it. a guy with no frickin feet and completed it with prosthetic limbs. a female former winner of the race crashed her bike, broker her collar bone, and rode like 20 more miles before giving up. the first place dude from last year was throwing up as he was riding his bike and didn’t stop for quite a while…!? if that doesn’t give you serious self esteem problems i don’t know what your life is about. i couldn’t even finish 100 miles on the bike this summer and i ride more than most people. not more then triathaletes but holy hell! a flippin 77 year old nun completed the swim and bike portion!

alls i knows is im gonna have my butt in the saddle of a bike at the gym for some serious hours in the next few weeks to pull it together so i dont get sick during the first spring league game of the season because i assure you, cherished reader, that i will not continue to fight on after such an occurance.

it did make me think about doing a little bitty 1/4 triathalon with some of the chicks and drinks ladies this summer. if a legless man can do the ironman i figure i should be able to swim 1/2 a mile, bike 20 and run 3 by july. right? right???

cricket. cricket.

Some people do “strength training” to “build up a base” for “the next season” of “extreme Ultimate flippy-disc”. I, on the other hand, have been keeping busy….I joined a new gym….that’s just one thing.

I had a physical assessment when I joined the gym, and the lady took me around the gym to see what I could do. Number of times I’ve been on the bench since college: 20 times in 4 years or so. We put on plates and gave it a go. 10, no problem except that it wasn’t that easy. We added some 35’s. One….two…thrrr….yup. Two. We took off the 35’s and added 10’s and 5’s or something like that. One…two…three..four…fffff…yup. Four. Nice job, big guy.

So with my “One Degrees 2008: Year of the Sideboob” body condition, I think it’s safe to say that I can bench about 1/2 of my body weight or another way to think about it, which I think is the metric system (not sure what the metric system actually is): I can bench at least the amount of food that I eat in a week if you could somehow turn it into a bar that I could lift while lying on my back.

Another thought about this exercise: you really should be sitting up if you want to digest your lunch properly, so I would say don’t eat RIGHT BEFORE YOU WORKOUT. That’s a late breaking fitness story from the West Coast. You heard it here first on casualobesity.fat.

Next, they did a body-fat test to see what percentage of my body is actually undigested milkshakes. It’s 27% with an 8% margin of error. My confidence level is high that I am above the “suggested level for a guy your age” of “ideally 10% but no more than 15%”. C’mon. Really? What year is it? 2000 BC? Am I (a) hunting for my food every day or (b) talking to some former D1 soccer player who did both her knees and is now a trainer in the Financial District of a major city in the fattest nation in the world? Darken in the oval by the letter B on your scorecard completely.

I found somebody with 10% body fat in my journeys, and I found another person with a body-type similar to mine as well. They are both small and fit on your lap. Here they are side-by-side.

Kindest Regards,

Chucktown: Population Fat

i think i have election fever. its great to watch the primaries and realize that all three of the front runners have some qualities that i admire and some stances on issues that i can get behind. hillary gets lots of bad press i think but she ultimately has a pretty great track record as a senator. obama is my man and the thought of a very new face in the nation’s highest office is exciting. and mccain is pretty great too. all in all its going to be a really interesting road to the white house.

i mean i think that to make it more interesting we could turn it into a reality show where they all have to live together on the campaign trail and allow people to vote via text message but that’s not going to happen in this election. maybe 2012. we can hope.

anyway i am officially sick of winter. like for real. i have such cabin fever. i have barely ridden my new bike which is rediculous but so is the fact that every other day we get another 6 inch heap of white fluff. im trying to look forward to spring league ultimate, a summer of racing on my bicycle (ive joined a sweet cycling team called team pegasus) and feeling the sunshine on my face…. but its snowing sideways right now.

so i was inspired by vijays post to man up and start repping my blog again. (cu for life!) i miss everyone! turns out the tv isnt my real friend no matter how safe it makes me feel. i miss chuck-town, and bk, and ms. ulty and especially willis and little joe. ive been having some work drama so ive been trying to focus during the day and not blog but the blog must go on.

got back from lasik a bit ago so pardon the spelling.. but im typing this without glasses! and i can kinda see! although im wearing these jacked up huge stevie wonder sunglasses they gave me to put on.

dudes lasik is so werid! it was over fast but i swear i nearly ripped the stuffed animal they gave me in half. its the longet 20 seconds ever. its like your staring at this light, they everything is pressurey and you cant see anything but grey. then they go back and your supposed to stare at this orange blinking light while the laser clicks next to you. the problem is i couldnt tell where the damn light was hlaf the time. i thought it was moving or something and i tried to focus but i guess my eye was moving. but we got through it eventually. honetly youre only in the laser room for like 10 minutes.

but then my eyes slammed shut and i couldnt open them for anything the whole car ride home. they were so achy and itchy and i was just miserable driving from arlington heights but we made it home and then itook a super short nap wearing some other goggles and now i can kind of see but things are still fuzzy. i think im gonna take some more tylenol and go back to sleep for a bit.

the wonder of lasers! the magic of science! the fantastic winder of giantg whirring machines!

thanks for all the well wishes. see you guys (for real) very soon…

so after getting my stem and riser bars stolen off my bike two weeks ago i have not ridden my bike to work again. its starting to get frickin rediculous so i thought id buy another bike for commuting. something less flashy and track bike-y for bad weather. well my new baby is on its way. its an empella bonfire cross bike i found on ebay. pretty but still pretty rough and tumble. ill get some locking screws and cross my fingers that it will be safe outside my work.

on another note im getting lasik on thursday morning. the magic of science is going to make me able to see in less than a week. this is profoundly scary for some reason.. mostly because ive never had surgery of any kind but also because everyone knows that when you want creepy medical stuff to go away you close your eyes (and possibly cry or whimper) but for lasik you have to be wide eyed and awake. i hope they have lots of valium on hand.

friday i had my preliminary appointment and they super dialated my eyes to the point where i went back to work and couldn’t read at all. also my eye doctor berated me for wearing someone else’s glasses. my prescription was so old and it was only for two weeks so i didnt want to buy new ones.. and my friend ben had some old glasses that were close to my prescription. they work fine. but the doc thought i was a total nut. her actual words were ‘wow i’ve never seen something like that from an educated person.’ wait wait.. i’m educated? werd.

also friday night we had a little going away fete for simon and amy (of chicks and drinks fame) at delilahs. this was one of the better parties ive been to lately. great crowd. great beer for cheap. well miss chivolvos premiere couple.

im hoping well get an update from lei out when everyone gets back. yall are lucky youre in la. its a degree outside her. a. degree. burrrr….

its that time of year when you are expected to cough up the dough to show your loved ones you.. well love them i guess. also its the time of year when the blog kind of degrades into open emails between ms. ultimate and myself. what can you do?

i finished my christmas shopping on michigan avenue monday evening (except for tbrizzle which well get to later…) and it was actually very festive and fun. i usually hate shopping here because my office is here and as soon as i get out of work i just want to flee as fast as possible from the parade of babystrollers, tourists, and aggressive 100 pound blonds that make up the shopping public. but monday night it was snowy, i had gotten a christmas bonus (woohoo!) and the lights were on so i bounced along and got into the christmas spirit by spending the evening surrounded in a cloud of bliss and consumerism.

and i got everyone taken care of except tbrizzle. the thing i wanted to get him was sold out. but really.. what does one get for the dude with everything? how about a patagonia t-shirt? oh wait… okay how about something with basset hounds? well… or maybe bike related stuff? okay now youre just being mean.

ill figure it out. meanwhile ms. ultimate is finishing up ivy leaguing to come home and shop, eat and watch tv like the good old days. only a couple days to go! lemmings is already on red alert.

well im back from the town family christmas and i have to say the weather up here is not as bad as the news made it sounds. i thought i would at least get a day or two off because of the ice armageddon that was going on but i suppose i missed the worst of it. certainly not the sunshine state but for chicago its not bad.

family holidays are great because of tv. man we watched a lot of 30 rock and it is so so good. for my money it doesnt get better than when tracy jordan sings ‘imagine christmas wishes shooting out of your eyes’ while dictating his biography. it was a tougher holiday than usual for me for some reason and since i am not open with my feelings and like to use humor and denial to avoid situations that are difficult in any way.. 30 rock really came through for me. as did the flight of the conchords. those dudes are funny too. like check out this french song.

so im just going to relate one scene from 30 rock, mostly for c(b)r because he makes fun of me for saying comfortable looking shoes are for lesbians. not comfortable shoes but comfortable looking shoes. well theres an episode where jack sets liz lemon up on a blind date and it turns out to be a woman. she storms into his office afterwards and says ‘im not gay!’ and he responds ‘those shoes are bi-curious at least.’ so im not alone.

also watching tv last night tbrizzle had an idea for a dating wesbite called ’settle.com’ for the mature dater who’s ready to give up. unfortunately settle.com is taken but were thinking about besticando.com or readytosettle.com. look for our youtube promo to be filmed over ms. ulty’s christmas break.

“The Pilgrims ventured into a new land bonded by a common past. On this Thanksgiving Vinnie and I have chosen to make an equally bold journey together into adulthood…or eachother. Whatever.”
-Doogie Howser’s Journal Entry from Thanksgiving ‘92

“You know, I was thinking the other day.”
-Kevin Nealon

“There’s only one b-tch in the world. One b-tch with many faces.”
-Jay in Chasing Amy

I guess I just wanted to say Merry Christmas to everyone in Chicago and elsewhere. I grew up with you guys. R.T., I lost my virginity to your daughter, for crying out loud! Rob, you were there.

I guess you could say that nothing I’m saying is original. You could. You could also get a good look at a T-bone steak by sticking your head up a bull’s ass, but wouldn’t you rather take the butcher’s word for it?

I’m just sitting at work right now at 5:30 on Black Wednesday listening to Sarah-McLachlan. Sunday I was sitting in a tea shop in Piedmont listening to Sarah-Welsh. Next week, maybe I’ll be starting Sarah-P (read that name with a lisp). That would be nice; having someone who just listens. Why don’t you just sit the next couple of plays out, Champ? Stop talking for awhile.

Do you ever worry about nothing really at all? Low-level anxiety, I’ve heard it called. I have that. It’s like a knot in my stomach. Every single outcome is ok with me, but I’m still stuck in a worried state. The Wayside State.

I’m on the brink of being happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. More available, more plugged in, more serene, less bullshit, less worry, less judgment. I don’t know exactly what it will look like. I think it’ll come though.

I’m thankful for:

Linda S.
Mama Town
Papa Town
Anger
Jessica
Frisbee
Idris
electric fans
Becky
Gunder
Jonny Rem
Grandma Rose
my house
my life
Stephen
Will
Pat
ankle sprains
gum
fiddle
bass
my childhood
discgolf
Frodo
Mader

Let’s eat until our hearts stop.

well yesterday was not going all too well. work is especially brutal lately and i was having one of those ‘milk in the cabinet, cereal in the fridge’ kind of days. i wasnt sure if i had even washed my hair or just stood in the shower under the hot water thinking about light and vent schedules and how to get an obscure piece of the integrated headset for the new bike. i was sitting at work thinking about whether to just get up and quit a la half baked or whether to just cry and then throw my computer out the window.

and then someone sent me my first missed connection. silly as it is, and clearly from a friend whos messing with me, it still cheered up my afternoon.

‘Miss Casual m4w - 29
Date: 2007-11-14, 2:27PM CST

aw shiiiit girl, you don’t need that foo’ jdot. you gots me, baybay.

meet me at the altar.’

so thank you invisible romeo for helping me get through a tough week.. even though you are probably ms. ultimate. happy friday everybody.

well in the long list of violence done to my cursed bianchi, the insane huge dent and hole that showed up in my top tube at some point on saturday night while we were at the after party for the sadie hawkins day race is certainly the worst. ending the evening by biking home ever so slowly so as to not finish the job of ripping my frame in half was a little disappointing. i cant figure out if someone was trying to steal it and just destroyed the frame before they could get through the lock or what but i always make it a policy to put my bike next to way nicer bikes in the hope that thieves will look at the others first and it still got jacked up. go figure.

the party was great. huge fantastic loft space. everyone we know. tons of cheap beer. plus tbrizzle and sally took it to the house and made it in 10th place out of about 100 teams which is a fantastic finish. they showed those nerdy fixed gear hipsters for sure. its called athleticism and it comes from chasing a frisbee, not wearing tight jeans and a bandana. nice work peeps. also michelle (of chicks and drinks fame) and her new hubby won the best dressed award and jessi came in second at the skid comp. heres a pic of the newleyweds with aaron wearing his fake moustache as a unibrow. all around nice weekend especially dance party central courtesy of andrew.

thank god i made it through this weekend in one piece. things are shaking up at the office and the fact that im still employed and might eventually afford replacing the bike that was trashed is, in itself, a cause for celebration. if im going to get fired however, it might as well be for blogging. happy monday. and happy belated bday to dr. tanguay. and congrats to the hales-es.

miss casual

p.s. can we get a role call of who is in for black wednesday night mayhem thanksgiving weekend on the forum? i cant wait to see everybody.

well fall league came to a close this weekend with the ledonnes (shakes fist) winning again. public news team did well in the tournament though winning our first game and then losing in the semis. im no sports strategist but im just gonna guess that it had to do with the round of walking beer schtick our team played on the break. drinking 4 beers didnt help our performance? go figure. i think it also added a bit to the hostility level in our semi game. the best part of the day was cheng coming by. her team, the dreaded syndicate, got knocked out by team ledonne in the first round. i asked how the game went and she pointed at her cup and said ‘well im drinking a bloody mary so you can guess we lost.’ as i looked across the field at my teammates slamming beers and walking very fast i thought ‘thats why cheng is a champion and we will nearly get into fist fights over bogus line calls in the next round.’

still a very fun day overall. hopefully a team dinner will happen this time as there needs to be more togetherness in the off season. yall are gonna need to drag me off the couch so that tbrizzle and slider and miss casual dont collectively weigh in at 476 lbs in the spring. i mean law $ order mini marathons are great and so is heroes and 30 rock but tv cant be your whole life. (can it?)

on another note… marc jacobs and bcbg are opening on damen right near the old vessel office. looks like miss casual and ms. ultimate will be shopping in beverly hills 60622 at thanksgiving. bucktown is the new soho? discuss.

well all our friends are back from nationals by now but after playing their butts off all weekend in sarasota im sure they need a day or two to recoup and collect their thoughts… check email, call mom, check in with their tivo, etc. hopefully well get some recap and highlights after all that but to give them a breather heres what happened in chicago this weekend.

the race. it was awesome. went off basically without a hitch. check out simon bringing the pain to his checkpoint in the video above. we had 29 teams and we raised a pile of cash for cornerstone plus everyone was in costume and the afterparty was a hit. big thanks to dave and rodan for putting up with all of us. the only minor snag was that 20,000 war protestors were in union park right when our race was starting. it was a little confusing to say the least. why couldnt they have their protestacular another day? oh well. heres some of us getting swarmed by them as they began their march downtown.

another minor miracle was this guy from one less car clothing just swooped in (literally swooped) out of nowhere and brought us a bunch of shirts and stuff for prizes. we are now best friends forever with those guys. the Brs and ms. mimms did the race and said they had fun. cbr’s porcupine costume was interesting to say the least. you dont often see an architect dressed in all black and covered in clothes pins riding a bike.

meanwhile i was watching scores on the upa website and clenching my teeth. i was on the war phone to mama town during brass monkey’s face off to the death with tandem that took it to double game point. i almost died of the tension but brass pulled it out and went on to semis. the talk in the forum was the big upsets in the open bracket in pool D with furious going 0-3 the first day as the top seed in that pool and chain lightening going 3-0 as the bottom seed (ATL represent!). madness.

anyway wished we could’ve dusted off our press passes and joined you on the sidelines. congrats to everyone who played on finishing great seasons. cant wait to hear your stories.

hugs

miss casual

here is an overdose of cute to celebrate my birthday today. this is maxine and slider competing for total dominance of the water cooler at sectionals which is almost more than i can handle. i ran into maxine and her parents at fall league this weekend and man is she getting tall! she is undoubtedly going to be a pro basketball player so hopefully i can sign on as her manager if i get on board now.

public news team went 1-1 on saturday although its been a great season and the weather was near perfect so it took the sting out of our first game loss. plus mr. baker and miss casual got to play together for the first time all fall league season so that sweetened the deal too. baker we’ve missed you! we had 7 ladies but it was really nice and everyone got to play a lot somehow… now we just need to win both games next weekend to hopefully get a first round by at the tournament… unfortunately ill miss our games since they are in the afternoon and the headless horseman hunt will be happening at the same time. we got picked up in time out chicago thanks to m. ulty and every stop on the course is someplace haunted so its looking to be good times.

also this week ive discovered that there is an event horizon for me around wabansia and milwaukee and that if i get any further north than that i am sucked into the black hole of my couch never to come out. or at least not til the next day in most cases. this is worrysome as it isnt even cold out yet and the event horizon only expands as the temperature drops. anyway im officially a grown up today so im blaming that. seriously though… i did a series of dances in my kitchen when i received a bitchingly awesome coffee maker as a birthday gift. if that doesnt make me grown i dont know what does.

xoxo
miss casual

well as you may or may not know… my lovely bicycle had a run in with thieves this week and they made off with one of my wheels, pink hub, spokecards and all. i can honestly say i didnt cry but i was trapped in a glass case of emotion all day on tuesday when i found out. thankfully mama town was here to drive my me and my bike home but it still means my big birthday present to myself is going to be replacing a wheel i already owned which is not fun at all. i briefly considered just throwing this bike away and getting a new one but ms. ultimate talked me down. ‘your horn broke so now you need a whole new bike?’ now i have to decide what color rim to put on my new back wheel. thoughts? pink again? white? maybe a nice dark eggplant? decisions decisions…

the other things going on in casual land are 1. fall league has started which is awesome because we have an awesome team who is big fun filled with tall dudes and fast ladies. 2. football season arrived with the first turkey chez casual / brizzle. tbr hooked up a crazy thanksgiving dinner for most of briefcase to watch the bears go down pretty hard to dallas. at least there were sally’s cupcakes from heaven to cheer everyone up. and 3. chicks and drinks is throwing a sweet bike race / scavenger hunt type thingy for halloween called the headless horseman hunt. check out the flier. its dope. granted everyone reading this will be in florida for nationals that weekend but if youre not for some reason and youre in chicago you should come out. itll be fun plus its to benefit a chicago homeless shelter so you get a smug feeling of satisfaction with your 5$ entry fee.

so thats all for now. im riding my first century this weekend (thats 100 miles for those who dont know) so ill be missing fall league but im sure public news team will be taking a break from their pledge drive to kick some ass without me. hopefully i dont have to call mama town from the side of the road to pick me up.

so this weekend was the most epic roadtrip miss casual has ever attempted. driving from chicago to savannah georgia is not for the weak willed. on our way out of town we heard the new britney track on b96. it starts off with her all breathy whispering ‘its britney bitch’. classy with a k for sure. i might have to put the post title as my outgoing massage on my voicemail. so it was a good start.

on the way down we spotted a weird petting zoo type thing at a gas station. heres an ostrich posing for us. we stopped into the a-town and had dinner and then went to savannah. lovely lovely savannah. it is so beautiful there when its not raining. which it was. all weekend pretty much. (this is the part where you tell me how f^&*ing gorgeous it was in chicago / san fran / new haven all weekend and i tell you to ‘wow thats awesome. really.’)

but it was so beautiful there with the fountains and our pretty little bed and breakfast and the ghosts and getting to walk around outside with beer in your hand like youre at a frat party that the rain didnt bother us too much. it cleared up for a bit on sunday so we got to bike around and do tricks and hit the marc jacobs store. we wouldve gone to the evening social at our b&b but we were younger than everyone there but about 2 decades so it seemed like we didnt have too much to share. ‘what do your kids do?’ ‘ummm…’

the ride back was no big deal really except for when a bloodthirsty cricket got into the car and miss casual screamed and cried til we pulled over and killed it. im pretty sure it was the vampire cricket variety with fangs and hair and stuff. also i think if i never go back to indiana again it will be too soon. not just because of the cricket but it also smells really bad there and we got a speeding ticket and i think we got ripped off at the popeyes just north of indianapolis. i was too scared of the people working there to complain.

anyways its certainly good to get back to normal in beautiful chicago. i love this city so much. cheers.

xoxo miss casual

So when I walk into the gym (every 3rd month unless it’s got a tuesday) and head for the locker room during busy hours, I run into this same scenario. Locker rooms are fully of sweaty naked men, and while that’s fine and necessary after a fashion, I like to give them their space while I’m changing. So as I enter the room I do a quick, eyes-above-belt level sweep of the space to see where the nudists are in order that I may pick a little private space and not have to have some guy’s junk hovering a biscuit away from my forehead while I’m furiously tying my shoes (velcro was made for these situations). These calculations are quite black and white: any garment is acceptable; a towel, a pair of pants, even jockey shorts will suffice to prevent that scenario from happening.

But every so often I run into this same guy (and I’m never looking too carefully at anyone in the room, so I’ve never learned to avoid him) wearing a big sweaty t-shirt around and looking like a sane, rational human being with no outward signs of exhibitionism. Trustingly I end up grabbing a locker next to him, and proceed to pack, unpack, hang things up, turn off my phone, and basically go through the small ritual tasks that prepare one for exercise. And at some point, near the end of all this, I sit down to tie my gym shoes. And inevitably, without fail, this guy, this hairy sweaty, clueless, racquetball playing hog of a man standing adjacent to me, chooses that moment to lean in and reach up to his top-row locker extending his apelike arms to remove his pants from their hook or grab some deodorant or pluck an imaginary apple from the sky and, in doing so, suddenly hikes up his enormous sweaty shirt which reveals his complete nudeness below the waist. And once again, the eerie silence of his junk just hovering there for that infinite stretch as he roots around, unable to find what he’s looking for, perhaps unable to remember why he reached up in the first place, and me getting tunnel vision on my shoelaces, which refuse to behave and end up as one massive jumble of failed knots. And though I know I need to look up at this guy, to look him full in the face so that I know who he is and can avoid him in the future, I don’t—I can’t confront what I might see there. I assume that face to be lined with the creases of guilt for the torment he wreaks on those around him, but just as likely it might be devoid of any recognizable human countenance whatsoever, simian and dull, empty, waiting for the world to change so he doesn’t have to. In the end I sit there until I see his feet shuffle a few steps away, stand up by rotating myself away from him, kick my locker shut and bolt out the door to sort out the mess of my shoes in the stretching area.

I know this may smack of some immature phobia or inability to accept the human body, but I maintain that what this man is doing is just wrong, and violates an unwritten rule of the gym. Men should not wear shirts as their only garment. Absolutely unacceptable. A shirt alone offers no practical function to a man unless it is there in cooperation with pants. I submit that those who violate this simple concept should be universally shunned, kicked out of the gym, and made to wear cutoffs at all times.

with chicago’s first-ever recorded hurricane passing through town last night, things got a little dicey for folks in the chicago area. i have to say, i do like me some severe weather, it’s pretty cool to watch. i mean, if it’s going to knock out my satellite reception, it better offer something in return. there’ve got to be a bunch of stories, good (tbr enjoying a 4wd vehicle) and bad (mercedog losing his roof), but this was my bout with the bad weather.

driving through that hurricane last night was awesome. i left my company’s lincolnshire office at about 3:20pm, just as the first front of the storm approached; i saw it coming and made a beeline to my car to get on the road asap. i -just- made it to the dry confines of the car before the rain started coming down. within a couple minutes, it was like driving through a carwash. the 60+ mph winds power-washed my car with the buckets of rain coming down. once on the freeway, i couldn’t see a damn thing at any speed above 40mph, even with the wipers on high. and it felt like i could start hydroplaning at any moment, there was that much water on the roads. people were stopping under underpasses to wait it out, which i thought was a bad idea because i bet at least a few of them got caught in high water. water was pouring off overpasses like waterfalls. there were lightning strikes all around me, super close on some; using the old “count one second between lightning and thunder equals how many miles away the strike was” rule, there were at least a handful of strikes under a mile away. and the winds had ripped apart the trees along the roads, i’ve never seen that much pulverized tree debris on the freeway.

soon enough though, the first wave of rain stopped, and i settled in for the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the edens trying to get back downtown. i made it back to my river north office in about an hour and a half, actually not bad considering what happened later on with all the flooding and road closures.

i got back to the apartment just as the second round of heavy stuff started coming down, so i sat in the car for a while, hoping to wait it out and not get totally soaked on the 20 yard walk to the front door. not gonna happen. so i changed into my gym clothes, which i had ready in the car since i was supposed to run track last night, and made a mad dash to shelter.

after reading about the extent of the damage and such this morning, and hearing about merce’s roof, i’m feeling pretty lucky about how well we escaped over on my street. fortunately, there weren’t any trees ripped down, and we didn’t get flooded out. but just to be safe, i parked on top of a speed hump, trying to get on high ground as best i can. i’ve had a car get flooded once, and i don’t want it again. that shit stinks.

(i am putting together some of tony’s updates from the road. i think hes just leaving traverse city. for those who dont know… our very own tbrizzle is biking all the way around lake michigan for two weeks with only his iphone for company. he has all his stuff in a trailer and is camping half the time. -miss casual)

late as usual

minor crisis this morning, the skewer that holds my trailer to my bike was unfit. i couldn’t find a shop that sold only the skewer so i bought a whole new trailer and left everything other than the skewer hanging in the window at rapid transit. so i have $350 in store credit if anyone needs anything…
classic.

many thanks to jess and claire for hanging out this morning and especially to mr. rick russell for supporting me emotionally through my tomfoolery.
leaving…now.

mile 32

Flat tire in Gary, in.

Fixed, but still a bit annoying.

first day

78 miles through chicago indiana and a little of Michigan. Dinner with mom and monica. Tired.

mile 242: alonzo gives me the rest of his pizza

Day 3 was long, but finished well. Made it to silver lake mi, land of the dune buggy. My campground is packed (on a Monday no less) with every kind of 4×4. People have been consistently friendly (e.g. Giving me pizza). Looked silly strapped to my bike but no chance I was going to turn that down.

mile 304: smoothie break in manistee, mi

There’s coffee shops and wireless everywhere…what an age we live in

day 5: reality check

Tired today. Arms more sore than anything else. Roads terrible, no shoulder. Only 50 miles today but I’m beat…rewarding my capitulation with a night at the grand old wellington inn, traverse city, MI. Wifi, free beer, and tight next to downtown.

Starting the ride again will be hard.

i am a manly man

my hotel room

At the risk of sounding old, or possibly completely confusing Brown Bear with all his youth and wide-eyed innocence… I’m going to throw a suggestion out there. We’ll call it a suggestion for a rainy/ Chicago day. Did you buy CD’s in high school? Did you burn CD’s in college? Did you listen to music before there were iPods? If you did, I have to suggest listening to your CD collection, if you still have it. Hopefully it will not be under the circumstances of my recent forced rediscovery of my CD collection [may none of you ever receive iPod error message 1429 = message of death]. But all those CD’s that I never got around to putting on my iPod are pretty damn good. I’m loving the Paul Simon Rhythm of the Saints album right now. Oldie but goodie. Also, have you listened to a Wilco album recently? This Team Paulina member is super-pumped. That’s all from Ms. Paulina. Mr. Paulina is at hard at work, or hard at figuring out how to properly observe my birthday in two shopping days!

this summer has been great and all, but it’s speeding along at a different pace than the epic summer of 2006. here are a few things we’ve been missing:

1. frisbee
1(a). potlatch - what a great tourney. we want to put together a chicago n’ friends team for next year. who’s in?
1(b). summer league - the competitive games are great, but we miss playing twice a week.
1(c). briefcase - ms. ulty misses her teammates and sunday practices at uic, and miss casual has no excuse for a manicure since she’s not doing admin.

2. terrycloth
2(a). dresses - last summer we dressed up for a party as good and evil terrycloth, this summer the dresses haven’t even been busted out.
2(b). see (3) below - ms. ulty’s beach towel has only been used once this year. we concede that this is a first world problem.

3. playing in the water
3(a). the beach - every weekend seems so jammed with other stuff, there’s no time for an old fashioned tanning session.
3(b). swimming pools - and the people-watching surrounding them. ms. ulty might have to head up to her grandma’s this weekend for a chlorine fix.
3(c). see (2) - water-based recreation is usually a prereq for wearing and use of terrycloth.

4. good news from the tour
4(a) no more doping people. we cant handle it.
4(b) remember lance? he was so dreamy…

5. happy hour
can there ever be enough? we think not. so in honor of ms. ulty moving to the east coast and tbrizzles birthday and just never having enough happy hour were gonna do something next friday. put it in your outlook.

happy friday

(oh and by the way… how on time are we with the poll about li-lo? she is totally back in treatment by labor day!)

friday was the summer outing for my company so jdot and miss casual rolled to the country club in style. with my heels matching his shirt, listening to black star in the middle of the afternoon after having had a glass of champagne at the house. it was beautiful out and a perfect day to sip on cocktails on the patio with coworkers. however the emergency alarm sounded when the bar opened and there was no bubbly. heres miss casual on the phone to ms. ultimate hoping to get her to call the national guard and get things back on track. this is what is called a ‘first world problem.’ as in ‘gosh i cant decide which overpriced organic grocery store will have the best apples and a copy of dwell’ or ‘there wasnt enough mango salsa on my burrito at lunch’ or even ‘my wireless isn’t working at the house and i can’t catch up on celebrity gossip.’ cause for alarm certainly but only in developed countries.